Cry For Help

O Lord, my God, I call for help by day
I cry out in the night before thee
Let my prayer come before thee
Incline thy ear to my cry!

For my soul is full of troubles
And my life draws near to Sheol
I am reckoned among those who go down to the pit;
I am a man who has no strength
Like one forsaken among the dead
Like the slain that lie in the grave
Like those whom thou dost remember no more
For they are cut off from thy hand

Thou hast put me in the depths of the Pit
In the regions dark and deep
Thy wrath lies heavy upon me
And thou dost overwhelm me with all thy waves

Thou hast caused my companion to shun me;
Thou has made me a thing of horror to them

I am shut in so that I cannot escape;
My eye grows dim through sorrow
Every day I call upon thee, O Lord
I spread out my hands to thee

Dost thou work wonders for the dead?
Do the shades rise up to praise thee?
Is the steadfast love declared in the grave
Or thy faithfulness in Abaddon?
Are thy wonders known in the darkness
Or thy saving help in the land of forgetfulness?

But I, O Lord, cry to thee;
In the morning my prayer comes before thee
O Lord, why dost thou cast me off?
Why dost thou hide thy face from me?
Afflicted and close to death from my youth up,
I suffer thy terrors;
I am helpless
Thy wrath has swept over me;
Thy dread assaults destroy me
They surround me like a flood all day long
They close in upon me together
Thou hast caused lover and friend to shun me
My companions are in darkness

Psalm 88


Thus says the LORD GOD:
Disaster after disaster!
Behold, it comes
An end has come
The end has come

It has awakened against you
Behold, it comes
Your doom has come to you
O inhabitant of the land

The time has come
The day is near
A day of tumult
And not of joyful shouting on the mountains

Now I will soon pour out my wrath upon you
And spend my anger against you
And judge you according to your ways
And I will punish you for all your abominations

And my eye will not spare
Nor will I have pity
I will punish you according to your ways
While your abominations are in your midst

Then you will know that I am the LORD, who smite.

Ezekiel 7:5-9

Give no ear to the Devil
You all make it too easy for him
By giving in to temptation…

Firstly and Lastly

I feel I have to explain it this way in order for people to understand what it is I am trying to say to them, as the ignorance is compelling. The Lord Jesus came to me, descended into the deepest darkest recesses of Hell to find me, and He pulled me out, many times, hence this journal. Understand and discern what this means, let the reader understand. I said nothing before He appeared, was nothing, am nothing and where I was, He still opened my heart, made it His own, and there it was laid bare, and torn open, destroyed completely, a mash of absolute rejection and every curse you could possibly imagine, weaved into flesh by the malice of my enemies, the devil and Satan and every demon set against me, mocked me. I did nothing to deserve it, I did nothing so I deserve it, I am nothing, I cannot be anything else but nothingness for that nothingness can only be filled by God and never anything evil in order to contain and embellish only Him, and at the same moment not be Him, but truly a mere reflection and a refraction of His Glory, made possible by the Sacrifice of the Lamb.

Try figuring out in a jiffy how every Word I have written and not written is bound to the fulfillment of the Gospels, all scriptures, The Revelation to John, and True Life in God. If your Heart was truly adorned with His Love, you would not need to figure it out. His Spirit is bound to me and this body, which will eventually die, but you must come first to the Knowledge within of what will happen when THIS body does die, even though I died a few times along the way. Darkness and death would cover the earth like a shroud if this body should be dead beyond a time, two times, and half a time. One would be inclined to say, nothing would happen, and that is true in a sense – the entire Universe will become an absolute nothingness as fast as how far the east is from west, infinity would even be no more, like it was before He spoke His Word. Thus, a home has been found and none are any wiser, but still mock and hate, mutter curses which have no power, just as it was before…

Know that I endured and still endure great suffering for you all, most of which you will not understand until all is said and done. Your Saviour Jesus and your Mother Mary, will gracefully endure the Crucifixion over and over and over and over to save you from your sins, but why do you still hang out after redemption around the precipice of Hell?

I will always be that nothing on Earth because of the abomination of your sins, but the Lord always gives back Mercy and Justice with repentance. Woe to you should His Justice be rendered unto you by His Most Holy Spirit, for none know from whence or how It comes, none can evade His Spirit; Truly, the Holy Spirit can even evade the Father or the Son, but would never evade both because the reunions and the departures are an Eternal Gift. It is a greater Gift therefore to be immersed in All Three. A Most Sacred Mystery which as you can see as you read, only serves to posit you in a place of disbelief and not wonder as it should, and I will always point thee to Christ to receive Him Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, into Eternal Life. But no one acknowledges or asks me, and that does not bother me one bit at this point, but it truly grieves His Spirit. If it is not His Wonder you behold, you therefore will fear.

I found a place to reside
Deep inside
His Most Sacred Heart Divine
O Sublime and Pure Sweetness
I adored Thee to become Me

Have you not yet tasted? Do you not see?

A Heart made Sacred
A Sacred Heart on Fire
Immaculate Her Heart is
Sacred and on Fire
Love lets Hearts unite

Let Him make your heart His own

Judgement Day
Starts today
And will take Us a thousand years
This is my last warning
The only books you should be reading now
Are the ones that led me to Heaven while on Earth I was here
The Bible and True Life in God

If I go before you in Love
Will you follow me with that same Love?

So the step forward begins with unity and peace…


Patience out of Love is always worth enduring
Suffering out of Love is always worth enduring
Helping others out of Love is always worth enduring
_______ out of Love is always worth enduring
Fill in the blanks
Does not work if the blanks are filled with things wrapped in hate

To Know

I came to know the Lord
My God
In His Way
Which is to say

Wonder (Fear of the Lord)

I remember them all, try to live them all, however the order is how His Spirit is arrayed within me today, wrapped in Love.
Good luck figuring out why I am struggling to stay pious!


The sting of death is sin
And the power of sin is the law
For just as sin came into the world
Through one man
And death came through sin
And so death spread to all because all have sinned
Sin was indeed in the world before the law
But sin is not reckoned when there is no law
And the law is written on your hearts

Behold, the world you inherited
Sin thrives because of your laws
I came to abolish all laws
Keep in mind
The first three about love
For all the Law is fulfilled
By love alone


I read a chapter of Luke today
I read it out loud
And all of Heaven could hear
And my Heart projected
Telling it like a story
And as I was doing so
The memories came flooding in
I could not stop reading
And I could not stop seeing
A Journey
Parallel to my own as I read

Twenty four minutes it took to read
And that was the chapter
But took as long as four days

There is still but one more thing

On That Day

On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:
Do not fear, O Zion
Let not your hands grow weak
The Lord God is in your midst
A warrior who gives victory
He will rejoice over you with gladness
He will renew you in his love
He will exult over you with loud singing
As on a day of festival

I will remove disaster from you
So that you will not bear reproach for it
Behold, at that time I will deal
Will all your oppressors
And I will save the lame
And gather the outcast
And I will change their shame into praise
And renown in all the earth

At that time I will bring you home
At the time when I gather you together
Yea, I will make you renowned and praised
Among all the peoples of the earth
When I restore your fortunes
Before your eyes
Says the Lord

Zephaniah 3:16-20


So vast was this vision
The vastness continues
Like the vastness of His Mercy

Mercy is Him unlocking mysteries
By way of Wisdom
Mysteries long forgotten
Hacked away by the enemy

But He leaves them unlocked
As gifts they are given
What else do you do to a gift
But open them up?

Lo, I opened Wisdom with Wonder
She revealed more than I understood
So We found and opened Understanding
And what She revealed I can also
But sometimes lacking substance
Words can sometimes be dreadfully dry

All I can do is ask
By Faith out of Love
He always answers as promised
His Knowledge He thus provides
With such gifts so far
Knowledge even of certain things
Which are fantasy
Which are truth
Which are lies

All this puts anyone
With such gifts at an advantage
But it does not stop there
For the gifts fail if I am selfish
So We must give Glory to God
And act according to His Will

So I sought to be humble
For Wisdom said it was wise
Considering the circumstances
So out of a pious heart
Acts of piety are apparent
Outward and clear

Such acts have kept me
Without any shame of Christ
Now Piety has encompassed my entire being
I know because when I silence myself
I can hear my heart sing in perpetual praise and prayer
Not only am I praising and speaking with Him
But so much more

This is the Way of the Reign of Christ

Oh at this point I sought out
Found only by Faith
His Strength right before me
His Strength because I am weak
Wisdom held me back
For a moment before I stood up
Whispered in my ear
Wonder without Counsel and you will be led astray
I stood still for a moment
And thanked the Lord for His Gifts
I paused and I asked
Where the gift of Counsel was
I have searched and searched
He said with a smile
That Gift my Son, has been with you all along

I wondered at what I could now do
Is not the act of wondering
In the bosom of God
Akin to something
That simply cannot be written down?


We are at an impasse it seems
I came like a thief
No, you did not notice

Though I refuse to reveal Myself
So you plead for Me to
And when you see me
You refuse to believe
Because I do not say anything
Tell Me, why should I?
When I know what you will do to me
For all the wrong reasons

I am seeking the right time
To make fire from rain and rain from fire
That moment that was promised
I know it will come
After having sifted through millions to get here
In a single moment
A mere second it will come

But maybe it will never come
To you then I would be dead
Even then I will always live on
In hearts of water and fire
Out of the purest love of love

All the while I stand here
And I am starting to feel it in stages
The pains of the stations
All over again
Maybe this time
It will be more than just being revealed

By His Spirit

What do you know of Holy Spirit?
I ask all of you…

I tell you, I know things by His Spirit
Things like what Fire really means

Conviction that spreads by way of Truth
Disputes may hamper It
But if you should try to contain It
You cannot hold back the explosion
It is how revolutions are started

I know things of the future
Events not written of yet
Though the future is never certain
And none of that really matters
Only the present matters
I know what it feels like, for everyone

If the seers see doom and destruction
When in reality it is their own fate
Caused by their separation from God
What else can I do?

But to His Own
Especially His little ones (and you all know who you are)
He will indeed take them up
Before any such devastation should come their way

Who are you going to believe
When you know that God is Love?


After having a several dozen
Quite remarkable brushes with death
I therefore testify as a witness
To the Power and Glory of God
The fact I am alive, is a testament in itself
So who better than to testify to the truth
Than the very one who received the greatest of mercy

If They Only Knew

I have really wanted to tell you
Things that I cannot tell you
But the Songs of Love
Keep it up, the Songs of Love, that is
Keep it up
Oh the Fire it burns
I cannot imagine what anyone would do
IF they only knew


Picture a Möbius strip
In the shape
Of the number eight
There is only one thing
With a single face
But it also has two sides
As only one side you can see

This is an outline of a skeleton key
The Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven
I have in my hands



Something I have oft wondered
Has been on my heart
For a very, very long time
I always start with Wonder
For Wonder is also the Fear of the Lord
It leads to humility, and always with love
Piety comes if you ask…

I have in my hands a gift for you all
A gift I hesitate to reveal
I hesitate because I can see
Not enough, as far as I am concerned
Will believe…
So how to reach so many
So many in a short amount of time

What you must do to receive
The Eighth Gift of His Most Holy Spirit
The Gift of Ascension

The problem is, the Day of Ascension is at hand
It is so very close people
I weep at the loss
Will you not allow even a window?
You do not need even see me
To be that love in the world

Have you not heard?
It was Jesus Christ who said
Whoever humbles himself like a child
He is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven
Whoever receives one such child in My Name
Receives Me

This should be understood by now
That every once and awhile
God comes down
In human form, as a child
Whenever so he pleases to do so
Amidst all the other children
Know that the power of the law
Has no power over Him
If you should tempt the Lord
You would not even know it was He
Does it not mean then you have power over Him?
But woe to you, should He Himself succumb to your temptation1
While He Returned as the weakest and least of you all
What do you think the Father will do
When He experienced first hand how you treated
Himself while He was intentionally weak?

1 But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the man by whom the temptation comes!


You cannot expect peace if you yourself do not give it
You can expect peace, when you do
But should war be at your doorstep
And your only trust is in the Lord God
Know that peace will come
Peace comes through acts of love

Bitter Poison is Sweet

I know what betrayal tastes like
It tastes sweet, but turns bitter
Like it was designed to fool you

Like, taste this honey
Laced with poison, mind you
And tell me what you think…
But then just as you enjoy the sweet taste
It turns on you, rips you apart, and kills you
The pain that you must go through, none will ever see
For they think you are gone
And toss you into a box underground
Or burn you to ashes

To me poison has only a taste
So I endure its effects for a while
Not exactly a pleasant way to die, really

And from the lips of the oppressors, they cry
“What we do not know, does not hurt us
And what is dead will never come back to life”

But now you know, the dead can come back
And not in a way you will ever expect

Will you still kill with poison
Whether out of mercy or not
Now that you know?!

If you know nothing, how can you say you are wise?