Month: October 2019

Psychologically beaten to death
By your absence of love
I submit only to love

My heart leaped
The moment I heard your name
Being called
But you never showed

All I did
Was express my love
Rejected and ignored
I even implored
As to the reason why

I received no response
As is the case
For all of my love
Friends and strangers alike
Now I will withdraw to die

Now I want to kill myself
Not because I am depressed
Not because I am a loser
No
I no longer want to be present
Because of this world
I have lost hope in you
But not in the Lord

My presence is rejected
My life is hated
I just want to be loved
But the world does not want it so
So I would go for a stray bullet today
And meet you at the Heavenly gate

It will not be long
Before I am forgotten

I am but a simple chalice
Filled with His precious Blood
Already dead to self
He raised my body back to life

I have been forced to do this solo
But I am not really solo am I?

I will strike fear in their hearts at the very sight of me
My foes will stumble and flee
My appearance in their sight will suddenly change
And they will see the Glory revealed in the fullness of God
Truly this has already come to pass

But if I choose to
I can remain hidden from you
Until the very end
When everything will be revealed
You will then realize

That you missed out
When all you had to do was love your neighbour
Truly this world reveals its shame
By how their poor are treated
Some worse than others

Now it is my turn to strike again
But I choose mercy and love
Come to me with your burdens
My yoke is easy
My burden is light

I do not hear voices in my head
My heart is the Lord’s
And I listen to the silence
To receive a locution
Then breathe and light the Love of God
Into a song of joy and new life

No matter what they do
A locution is not a voice
So trying to treat it like a disease
With drugs and the like
Makes the locutions even stronger
So they let me go

I delight in the Lord
And He delights in me
The Lord has never left me
And sometimes He carried me

I love the Love
Love loves me back
But when hearts are stone
I wonder
How long?

I hear people say, “How long Lord until your Return?”
And I hear Him say, “I have already returned…”
And they will say in reply, “Show us Lord, we do not believe!”
And He will say, “If you do not know already, it is too late for you to enter into the First Resurrection!”

As expected
People think I am crazy
I have the proof I need
But I do not have to prove anything

Things take time
And over time
The next generations will see
Truth come to light
In a glorious way

What I saw
No one cares
But I still do care
For your salvation
That is what is written here

So behold a wonder
Signs all around you
Your blindness is caused by your sin
So how can you expect to understand yet alone perceive
The Return of the Jesus the King
When the scales of sin cover your eyes

But do not be afraid
Jesus is the one who saves
This you have seen
Will see
And always will see
Jesus does the saving

I want to jump
I wonder what would happen
What a horrible way to die
As the train screeches to a halt
But at least the pain would come to a stop too

God grant me the grace
To live in this awful world
To love others beyond the pain
So that I decide every day not to jump

Unrelenting suffering has a way of getting to you
Enough that you could care less about anything else
Do anything to take away the pain
But when Christ is there all along
You need only call on His name

See God loves even me
Someone who walks a fine line in the valley of death
Am cruel to myself because of my unworthiness
The Lord knows I offer up my sufferings
So he allows me to suffer more
For you

I hate this world
One so full of lies
On the brink of
Destruction

Suffering in agony
My heart wrenched from its place
Agony so unrelenting
This is my cross

If I ebb my love
And you get caught
in the undertow
I will not let you drown

But know the next wave
Which is seven thousand of these
Would be seven thousand
All of them to you

I dream of days I wonder
Joined in the plunder
Lost it all somehow
Stolen but I do not care

Let me roam in the darkness
So I can shine the light of love
And bring those who cannot see
Into God’s healing Light

Peace

Silent like ignorance envelops around me
Suffocating me
I die with no breath

But I enter into peace like a dove
Alighting on God’s shoulder
Allowed to whisper delights

So love me like no other
Blessings galore
Joy and Peace

For I whisper delights about you

Amen

I love you Lord
You are my refuge
When I am wrought with unworthiness
You pour out your mercy and love

Help me and sustain me
Be my daily bread
I love you to folly
Enough to do all this for you

I would be lost in your embrace
Making my heartbeat race
Your perfumed kiss
Oh just some sort of bliss