Oh how I wish these words of love reached you
I have nothing more to say now
I just want to be with you
Basking in your presence
So I delight always even when you are not around
Knowing you are alive and well gives me joy
But also I long to know your pain
To alleviate your suffering, my gain
But as it is
And the truth be told
You want nothing to do with me
So I move on
Got the silent treatment
After myself flowed
Into love’s waves
Crashing on your shore
But the undertow pulled me back
Your love is what I lack
But I am back on the wave again
Relentlessly I crash again and again
With every breath
With every move
With every sigh, cry, and yell
I reel in pain, agony, and joy
I am meant to suffer
To suffer for you
And there is nothing you can do about it
But reap
In the richness
In the depths
Of Your most
Sacred Heart
Hold me close
Now more than ever
Make haste
To vanquish the Devil forever
As he keeps trying to kill me
I cannot bear the pain
It feels like it did before
I will end my life
Just a matter of when
My love
I hope you can forgive me
As I forgive you
But you do not know to
As I could never reach you
Despite reaching the stars
My words grew cold
In the still dark night
Be good to me
Though you are not good
I would send you a postcard
But you would just throw it away
I am not usually this negative
This toll was unusually high
A loss of words and life
Ended whilst in strife
I wish I liked pain
It happens every day
Today is worse
Like nails in my spine
While swallowing hammers them in
Makes me want to vomit
Maybe I should slit my wrists
Cause my “loved ones”
Deprive me of pain relief
Because they feel nothing
If it is all in my head
I want to be dead
Because I am that anyway
To you and to them
So I will fade away
Echoing what only remains
That is what you and they want
Is it not?
Alas, I am trampled on by hate
With a looming disconnected date
That this is the worst possible way
To get attention
But I never wanted the attention
I only wanted to live to love and be loved
So I lived to the former
Was skimped on the latter
I will not stamp and rage
But quietly fade away…
We are living a life
In a world of pain
Pain that really cuts like a knife
Pain that wounds you deep
But what was cut?
Would you ever want to know
What to do with that pain
And how to gain joy from it?
A Prophet Scorned 