Not to be taken lightly
The decision to die nightly
Involved circumvention
By divine intervention
My hour has not yet come
Here I thought I was done
Your love I sought
Received it not
Not to be taken lightly
The decision to die nightly
Involved circumvention
By divine intervention
My hour has not yet come
Here I thought I was done
Your love I sought
Received it not
I have decided to die
I am in too much pain
Physical and emotional
Abuse is conclusive
I tried to warn you
I tried to love you
But I was ignored
And now too late
This is my beloved goodbye
To you and to the world
All I needed was love
Got criticism and ignorance instead
I wonder how many care
But it does not matter anymore
I will be forgotten
And you will not even know I am dead
When I look at your face
You make my heart race
Such everlasting joy
Why so coy?
People lack the kindness
The kind that brings joy
To a deeply worried heart
My Soul belongs
To the Body of Christ
So if anyone cares at all
And wants to honour Jesus Christ
Open up the Bible
Find the Last Supper in a Gospel
Follow the steps
Do it in remembrance of Him
You just bring
The bread and the wine
Do it before your actual supper
Anywhere
Anytime
He says
Do in remembrance of Me
Until
It is finished
Amen
The Silence is beautiful
And my heart throngs
Surrounded even
By darkness
But filled with Light
I am fine
On Fire in fact
My Lord has returned
And gave me solace
Out of love am I
Wondering
Pondering
In that solace of love
Seeking
See a King
He assured me
That We are
Inseparable
Love is love
I am seeking you out
Looking for you
Just Wondering
Waiting
Pondering
Whether or not
You will give in to Love
I turn to the Lord in this Desert
Oh so parched
Forty years strong
Every day is a thousand years
Their hearts are so cold
My pleas ignored by all
Tears weep deep
And agony over the loss
Psychologically beaten to death
By your absence of love
I submit only to love
My heart leaped
The moment I heard your name
Being called
But you never showed
All I did
Was express my love
Rejected and ignored
I even implored
As to the reason why
I received no response
As is the case
For all of my love
Friends and strangers alike
Now I will withdraw to die
Now I want to kill myself
Not because I am depressed
Not because I am a loser
No
I no longer want to be present
Because of this world
I have lost hope in you
But not in the Lord
My presence is rejected
My life is hated
I just want to be loved
But the world does not want it so
So I would go for a stray bullet today
And meet you at the Heavenly gate
It will not be long
Before I am forgotten
I am but a simple chalice
Filled with His precious Blood
Already dead to self
He raised my body back to life
I have been forced to do this solo
But I am not really solo am I?
I will strike fear in their hearts at the very sight of me
My foes will stumble and flee
My appearance in their sight will suddenly change
And they will see the Glory revealed in the fullness of God
Truly this has already come to pass
But if I choose to
I can remain hidden from you
Until the very end
When everything will be revealed
You will then realize
That you missed out
When all you had to do was love your neighbour
Truly this world reveals its shame
By how their poor are treated
Some worse than others
Now it is my turn to strike again
But I choose mercy and love
Come to me with your burdens
My yoke is easy
My burden is light
I do not hear voices in my head
My heart is the Lord’s
And I listen to the silence
To receive a locution
Then breathe and light the Love of God
Into a song of joy and new life
No matter what they do
A locution is not a voice
So trying to treat it like a disease
With drugs and the like
Makes the locutions even stronger
So they let me go
I delight in the Lord
And He delights in me
The Lord has never left me
And sometimes He carried me
I love the Love
Love loves me back
But when hearts are stone
I wonder
How long?
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